Jokes as told by the kids I'm babysitting:
- Michael, 6: What does a jellyfish eat?
- Me: I don't know, what?
- Michael: Jelly! Get it?
- Me: Ha. Yeah.
- Matthew, 9: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
- Me: What?
- Matthew: Can I hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand?
- Me: That was a good one!
- Michael: How much did the crab eat?
- Me: What?
- Michael: A pinch!
I asked a little boy which ride he was planning on riding next
And he told me Dumbo.
Since I was trying to kill some time before sending him and his family up in line, I started messing with him by quoting the movie and seeing if he would catch on.
I asked him what Dumbo was.
He told me a flying elephant.
I laugh and tell him I ain’t never seen an elephant fly, then I asked him if he had.
He told me yes.
So I’m like “Have you ever seen a horsefly?”
He frowns and says ‘no’.
I ask “Have you ever seen a housefly?”
He says ‘no’ and then after a second, he corrects himself, “Yeah, I saw a house fly on Up!”
‘Disney is only for Kids’
what did you just say ?
Today I was trying to enjoy a nice river boat ride with my dear friends and there was this cunt of a child sitting behind me crying loudly, whining, standing up, moving around, throwing herself on the seat and sobbing, and talking back to her grandmother the ENTIRE TIME and I wanted her to be eaten by a horse. When her grandma got fed up and told her to “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about” I was silently cheering grandma on.
Shit was crazy. But I still enjoyed it. I considered it “San Antonio’s Jungle Cruise.”
Interestingly, not many Disney references were made today.